Home of Jules

It’s been a while now that I’ve been thinking what I want and should do with my life, career wise. And I’m still lost. I’m in a real confused state of mind

I must’ve been about age 19+ going on 20 that year, when I got my first job about 2 months after classes ended and I officially graduated. So young, right? Lol, I wished I had taken more time out before entering the worklife :P I suppose it was the middle of May 2004. This job is as a designer for ChoonGiap, a knitting company, a supplier. I didn’t expect it to be like this, the job required me to be in front of the pc most of the day and design graphic prints for clients! Looking back, I can say that my graphic sense back then was bad and amateur lol. The department was stuffy and quite near to the door that leads to the factory, lots of fiber and dust flying around. Plus the lady boss from hell who never backs us up but instead blame stuff on us when clients complain. Obviously I didn’t like the job, so after 2 months, I tried to resign. Note “tried”. My GM counter offered with a high pay raise, so I decided to stay a while more. After another 4 months, I left for good lol. I did learn a lot here. On fabrics, types of dyes and special effects for prints, etc.

And start my 2nd job as a streetwear designer at a local fashion house, Extreme. I was initially excited, cause I liked the brand. But once I went internal, I changed my mind! It’s sooo not what it seemed to be. I didn’t feel like I was doing enough as what a designer should. Not that I didn’t initiate, but I wasn’t… allowed? Ever heard of a design department that doesn’t have brainstorming meetings to discuss fresh concepts for the new season collections? Yup. And also, as a designer, I ceased getting access to critique on the print samples. I believe it was because I complained and asked for resampling almost everytime. Boss must’ve thought that I was being too perfectionist and wasting time. Hello, your supplier sucks, ok. You should be glad to have a employee so particular for detail! Not that I get along well with the colleagues anyway. I was there for about a year, I think? Then I said bye bye, cause it was such a boring job! I felt like I was wasting my time because I didn’t learn anything there. Except improving on graphic sense and AI skills.

Next I went to… Oh, Voir lol. “Woooow”, right? Nooooo. I was trying for so long to get a place here, but little did I know… Sigh! Is nothing made in China these days? Heck, even the documents are all in Chinese! It ticked me off a bit that they failed to notice that in both my resume and application form, I had written “0″ for written Chinese. “Learn la!” they said. Sure, it’s so easy to learn how to read a language, right? The vacancy read “Fashion Designer”, but the jobscope was more like a merchandiser’s. Which required lots and lots of paperwork, which btw may I remind you, are in Chinese. I felt duped! Within just one week, I fell into misery and cried everyday. I was only at the company for 2 weeks. I decided not to waste time and to heck with it.

And then? I was jobless for 2 months, trying hard looking for another job lol.

I joined Xixili mid June 2006. I was supposed to be a lingerie patterner but I had zero knowledge in innerwear! Was put under training for many months, at the same time assisting the seniors in their jobs. Being a fast learner, I was quite independent already after a year, though still under partial supervision from the senior. Initially it was fun, because everything was so new and fresh! But after I ‘graduated’ from being a trainee and officially a patterner, it started to get pretty mundane. Nothing fresh to learn anymore, just the same old tasks of patterning everyday. I guess it was alright. But the trigger came when they transfered me to being half designer. I found it quite tough, because I don’t quite have that sense for fabric patterns and laces. Being in lingerie line is good, but it’s not what I want and like. So after 2 years, I left and ‘retired’ from lingerie.

For my current job. Designer for a trading company. Or so it seems. I believe I have complained enough that I don’t need to repeat myself, right? Lol. Been here for almost 1.5 years now. And I’m itching to get out!

This is my thought right now. After 5.5 years and trying out 5 jobs, I’m tired of being in the design line. I’m still alright in the fashion line, but not so for design. I don’t know, I just suddenly felt so… drained. I’m thinking that I want to switch lines, do something else? But what? Marketing seems like a good idea, but I wonder if any company would want to hire someone with no qualifications and experience to train. I’m hoping hard, yes. Should I have another option? I’m keeping it as open as possible, but sometimes it just feels like I’m not capable enough for anything. That’s because, maybe I am…

Sigh, I just want to be doing something that makes me happy, without worrying too much about whether it’s paying me enough to survive…