Posted by Jules on June 26, 2010
Iks sent the chicas an email with the link to an article to put us [quoting Iks] on the road to being happy. The article is a review on a book by Don Miguel Ruiz, “The Four Agreements”. Read on, this is my summarised version of the book based on Brian Johnson’s article:
You need a very strong will in order to adopt the Four Agreements—but if you can begin to live your life with these agreements, the transformation in your life will be amazing. You will see the drama of hell disappear right before your very eyes. Instead of living in a dream of hell, you will be creating a new dream—your personal dream of heaven.
The First Agreement: Be Impeccable with Your Word
The Second Agreement: Don’t Take Anything Personally
The Third Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions
The Fourth Agreement: Always Do Your Best
Children are domesticated the same way that we domesticate a dog, a cat, or any other animal. In order to teach a dog we punish the dog and we give it rewards. We train our children whom we love so much the same way that we train any domesticated animal: with a system of punishment and reward. We are told, ‘You’re a good boy,’ or ‘You’re a good girl,’ when we do what Mom and Dad want us to do. When we don’t, we are a ‘bad girl’ or a ‘bad boy.’
> 1st Agreement: Be Impeccable with Your Word
The first agreement is the most important one and also the most difficult one to honor. It is so important that with just this first agreement you will be able to transcend to the level of existence I call heaven on earth. The first agreement is to be impeccable with your word. It sounds very simple, but it is very, very powerful.
Impeccability means ‘without sin.’ Impeccable comes from the Latin pecatus, which means ‘sin.’ The im in impeccable means ‘without,’ so impeccable means ‘without sin.’ Religions talk about sin and sinners, but let’s understand what it really means to sin. A sin is anything that you do which goes against yourself. Everything you feel or believe or say that goes against yourself is a sin. You go against yourself when you judge or blame yourself for anything. Being without sin is exactly the opposite. Being impeccable is not going against yourself. When you are impeccable, you take responsibility for your actions, but you do not judge or blame yourself.
> 2nd Agreement: Don’t Take Anything Personally
Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… if I see you on the street and say, ‘Hey, you are so stupid,’ without knowing you, it’s not about you; it’s about me. If you take it personally, then perhaps you believe you are stupid. Maybe you think to yourself, ‘How does he know? Is he clairvoyant, or can everybody see how stupid I am?’ Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.
Extra note: Ervin Seale (see Notes on Take Off from Within) reminds us: “There is one recurring, persistent, perennial, and dogging personal problem which, more than any other, steals the force and peace of people and ruins projects and enterprises and careers. It is the habit of feeling hurt because of what others do or do not do and what they say or do not say.”
> 3rd Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions
We have the tendency to make assumptions about everything. The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth. We could swear they are real. We make assumptions about what others are doing or thinking—we take it personally—then we blame them and react by sending emotional poison with our word. That is why when we make assumptions, we’re asking for problems. We make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take it personally, and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing.
The way to keep yourself from making assumptions is to ask questions. Make sure the communication is clear. If you don’t understand, ask. Have the courage to ask questions until you are as clear as you can be.
> 4th Agreement: Always Do Your Best
There is just one more agreement, but it’s the one that allows the other three to become deeply ingrained habits. The fourth agreement is about the action of the first three: Always do your best.
Under any circumstance, always do your best, no more and no less. But keep in mind that your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next. Everything is alive and changing all the time, so your best will sometimes be high quality, and other times it will not be as good.
Extra note: Tony Robbins has an awesome concept he calls “CANI!”—Constant and Never Ending Improvement. When we show up committed to doing our best and practice CANI!, we’re on an incredible upward trend where our best keeps on getting better.
Extra note: Marci Shimoff : “To make the quickest progress, you don’t have to take huge leaps. You just have to take baby steps—and keep on taking them. In Japan, they call this approach kaizen, which literally translates as ‘continual improvement.’ Using kaizen, great and lasting success is achieved through small, consistent steps. It turns out that slow and steady is the best way to overcome your resistance to change.
> Other Notes
The first step toward personal freedom is awareness. We need to be aware that we are not free in order to be free. We need to be aware of what the problem is in order to solve the problem.
Who stops us from being free? We blame the government, we blame the weather, we blame our parents, we blame religion, we blame God. Who really stops us from being free? We stop ourselves.
There are many strong beliefs in the mind that can make this process look hopeless. This is why you need to go step-by-step and be patient with yourself because this is a slow process. The way you are living now is the result of many years of domestication. You cannot expect to break the domestication in one day.
All of these old agreements which rule our dream of life are the result of repeating them over and over again. Therefore, to adopt the Four Agreements, you need to put repetition into action.
Practicing the new agreements in your life is how your best becomes better. Repetition makes
the master.
Look it up, it’s just as good as The Secret 
No, The Secret is ultimate, but this is different in the sense that it’s not as hard to apply in life as The Secret. In any case, if you’re seeking for self-improvement and happiness, look up both!
Posted under
Reviews
Early 2004, age 20 (Puffy faced redhead)
Mid 2004, age 20 (What kinda hair is that??)
Late 2005, age 21 (Something made me look older than 21…)
Late 2006, age 22 (Still kinda baby-faced)
Mid 2007, age 23 (I thought the hair was nice at the time)
Late 2007, age 23 (Oh hey, my face seemed sharper already)
Mid 2008, age 24 (No comment lol)
Mid 2009, age 25 (Note the eyes lol)
Late 2009, age 25 (This is me now)